Hair diary - gonna grow it out for a while. Dyed it darker, but it’ll fade with sun etc, hopefully blend/fade nicely when my roots come through. #selfcare #hairdiary

Hair diary - gonna grow it out for a while. Dyed it darker, but it’ll fade with sun etc, hopefully blend/fade nicely when my roots come through. #selfcare #hairdiary

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for including pieces about date rape and gray-area rape. I am a couple years out of a college with a very heavy drinking culture, and those things happened to me in several different ways with several different people. I wasn't a very good person then, and I was usually very aggressively desperate for affection, and it's really hard to conceive of those incidents as not being my fault. But it's nice to hear. Maybe one day I'll believe it. Thank you.

ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault:

I’m sorry these things have happened to you. I know you say that you weren’t ‘a very good person then,’ but I am guessing you were a good person and a mixed up person and a young person and a person who wanted love and respect even though sometimes she didn’t feel she deserved love and respect. You did deserve love and respect and you do now as well. You really do." - Myfanwy

This breaks my heart to hear, little sister, because I was you. I know everything you just said, because I said it, too, over and over again. It was so easy to justify. To put it all on me. But dearest, you weren’t a bad person because you wanted attention or affection. Please never let anyone tell you that. I wish I had realized it sooner, so I hope you hear me now: everyone wants love. Affection. Attention. We need it to become our best selves. But we need the good kind, the supportive, real kind, and it can be so hard to tell the difference. Some of us spend our whole lives trying to sort out the difference. Look how strong you are, making those judgments now. Look how amazing you are. You are so much more than you know. Please don’t ever sell yourself short. It’s not your fault, little sister. It’s not on you. The only thing that’s on you is this: take care of yourself. Please love yourself. You are so worthy. You are so wonderful. I don’t know you, but I love you. I hear you and I love you." - Alisha

We all grow. We all change. We all look back. We are all sometimes mystified by who we were/what we did when we do. Your perspective may change as you get older. I know mine has. It’s okay to recognize that you engaged in patterns of behavior that were unhealthy. That doesn’t mean that you gave up your right to say no and asked to be assaulted. 
I hope that you are in a much better place now and it sounds like you have spent time thinking about your thinking—which is really a sophisticated and valuable ability.

Keep thinking and keep unpacking. Keep turning it over in your mind. I trust that you’ll land right. I trust that you’ll find your feet. I trust that one day, you’ll understand who you were, why you made the choices you did, and will see the clear demarcation between your behavior and that of whoever took advantage. It can be hard to find at first, but once you see it, it’ll change your life. For me, it happened when my daughter was born. For others, therapy helps. Sometimes, it just takes distance. Wherever you land, though, forgive yourself first. Before you explain away another’s behavior toward you, take a moment and give yourself that same grace." - Jennifer

Dear one—what happened to you was done TO you, not BY you. You did not commit an offense. YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON THEN. YOU ARE STILL A GOOD PERSON NOW. I typed that in capitals because I want to make sure you see that. I know you’re a long way from believing it. But every journey starts with a step, right? There is nothing wrong with you for seeking love, approval, acceptance from the wrong people. There is nothing wrong with being young and making a decision that in hindsight was probably not a great idea. Also, there is nothing wrong with being a sexual person and desiring another sexually in a consensual manner. All this stuff makes you human, just like everyone else. Everyone on this planet is all trying to figure it out. Please do not blame yourself. Please do not hate yourself. Please know there are people who care and worry about you right here. Be kind to yourself. If I knew who you were, I would stop in the middle of the street and hug you." - Melanie

no-youth:

Almost a thousand people in West Africa die from ebola and nobody bats an eyelash, yet 2 white people in the US contract it and miraculously a cure is released and given to them because they’re an “extreme circumstance.” Satire is dead and real life is a dystopian hellscape

onlyblackgirl:

black4eyedgoddess:

peoplemask:

decidedly-enigmatic:

onlyblackgirl:

blckgrlothrwrld:

onlyblackgirl:

onlyblackgirl:

To All the Little Black Girls With Big Names (Dedicated to Quvenzhane’ Wallis)

Standing mothafucking ovation.

I almost cried! I needed this!

Everyone needs to watch this right now.

Say it right or don’t say it at all

image

And to my fellow white people - when someone is trashing on black women’s names, we all have to get better at looking THEM in the eye and saying, “Stop being so fucking racist.”

This gave me so much self-empowerment, you have no idea. My name is too “made up.” My name too is constantly mispronounced. I know anytime the teacher—whether my “regular” teacher or a substitute—pauses and takes a breath that it’s my name, and I know they’re going to completely butcher it. Obliterate it. Completely miss the mark. And then I have to raise that naturally soft-spoken voice of mine to correct them…only to get brushed aside because they don’t a fuck about my “ghetto” name that my mom created so uniquely for me. That’s what hurts even more than them mispronouncing it; them dismissing it but taking extra time to get those hard European surnames of my white classmates right even though we go by first names almost exclusively in the states. Why don’t they try grant me the same empathy? Am I not worthy simply because I’m black? If that’s the case fuck you and if you can’t say it right then don’t say it at all.

The stories in these notes are bringing me to tears. These are perfect examples of why racism, discrimination, white beauty standards and everything in this fucked up society is so hurtful and we aren’t just “playing the race card” or “playing the victim” this shit is real, and it is hurting people.

My white family literally LEGALLY changed my name to a more “normal” one because they thought “Waykedria” (which I later found out was the name my birth mother gave me and has been in her family for generations) was too strange and didn’t want me to feel left out. Just because a name is unfamiliar to you doesn’t make it “ghetto”, we do not need to shorten it for your convenience, if you can fucking learn to pronounce and spell “Tchaikovsky”, you can learn to pronounce and spell “Waykedria” and every other name you call ghetto. Say it right or don’t fucking say it at all. 

baddiebey:

When Beyoncé growled barbarian and Nicki continued going in I felt my soul shake I felt the devil leave my body I am cleansed of that one time I listened to Fancy. Thank you Beyoncé. Thank you Nicki Minaj. You healed me

Feminism and Rationality

becausegoodbye:

When it comes to contentious topics like sexism and racism, I’ve seen a lot of white dudes abuse the hell out of the notion of ‘rationality’. They use it to sneak in a whole bunch of unexamined assumptions that limit the discussion, and to make it so abstract as to obscure what’s actually trying…

Pink: hair, jumper, PJ pants and bedside lamp …14yo Han would not believe this

Pink: hair, jumper, PJ pants and bedside lamp …14yo Han would not believe this